Navigating boundaries when power dynamics are at play: Beyond active bystander

Setting boundaries around inappropriate behaviour at work is hard for most people. It’s even more complicated when the person crossing the line is someone you need to impress, whether that’s a manager, a key client, or someone who holds influence over your role or career. Usually there’s a power dynamic involved, and that doesn’t just disappear over time. In fact, the pressure to keep the relationship positive can feel even more important for your professional success, which makes setting boundaries feel risky or sometimes impossible.

Most organisations encourage active bystander approaches as the first step. Speaking up, interrupting, or showing support to someone being targeted can be a powerful way to challenge poor behaviour. It helps build a culture where it’s clear bad behaviour isn’t acceptable and people are supported.

But what if active bystander strategies don’t work? Or it feels too risky because of the power imbalance? What if speaking up could put your job or reputation on the line?

In those situations you’ve got other options:

• Disrupt without direct confrontation Sometimes you can change the subject or make a neutral comment to stop the behaviour without getting into a fight.
  
• Speak privately If it feels safer, talk to the person one to one. This can lower the chance of them getting defensive and give them a chance to change without feeling shamed.
  
• Use allies or trusted intermediaries Sometimes it’s easier to get help from colleagues, HR or managers who can raise concerns for you or back you up.
  
• Document everything Keep a record of what happened, when, and who saw it. This can be really important if you need to take things further later.
  
• Escalate carefully If the behaviour carries on and is serious, consider reporting it formally. But weigh the risks and benefits first.
  
• Use culture moments Frame your concerns around company values or policies. This can help get leadership onside.
  

Deciding what to do really depends on your situation and what feels safe. Ask yourself:

• What are the risks and benefits of speaking up directly or going indirect?
  
• Who can I trust to support me if I speak up?
  
• How bad is the behaviour and what impact does it have on me or others?
  
• What support or processes does my organisation offer?
  

It’s ok to take your time to plan, get support and protect yourself.

Setting boundaries in a workplace where power is uneven isn’t always about confrontation. It’s a range of options from small disruptions to formal complaints. Pick what works best for your wellbeing and your career while still calling out bad behaviour.

You deserve to work somewhere respectful and sometimes that means finding the safest and smartest way to say no.

Tell Jane offers comprehensive training workshops on a wide range of workplace issues, including empowering active bystanders, to help you foster a positive workplace culture. To find out more, simply email hello@telljane.co.uk.